2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
