by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
