you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
