were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
