I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
