i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She announced her abortion via fbk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
