nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pants are for mortals
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
