it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
