Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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