He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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