Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
