who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Quick, to the slutcave!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
