Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
