Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
don't judge my taste in strippers
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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