I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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