Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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