did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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