I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
