the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
