Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
