ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
