Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
