escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
