you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
