I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
