i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
