It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
