32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
