One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
