I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
