I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Drake has all the answers
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
