I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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