Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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