he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
