You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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