As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
