I must be too annoying 4 u.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I looked at my own cervix.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
