I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
