I hope mine doesn't look like that
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
only if we run a train.
done.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
