I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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