i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
