We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
