I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
