I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Those nachos came to me in a dream
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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