just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sorry about my life...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
