She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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