I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
