I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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