problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
