glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
